Ladies Corner
Incorruptible Beauty
As women in today’s world it is very easy to get caught up in maintaining and perfecting our outward appearances. We have every imaginable type of “beauty” products readily available to help us cover our flaws, conceal our gray hair, and make us more physically attractive. In fact the most common definition of the word beauty is “physically attractive” (Merriam-Webster). We are even told by major cosmetic companies that we are “worth it” and deserve to feel beautiful, i.e. physically attractive. Don’t like your natural hair color? Dye it. Don’t like your eye color? Wear tinted contacts or eye makeup to your liking. However, is this superficial beauty the type of beauty that we as Christians should be working and perfecting ourselves toward? Let’s consider a few passages from the scriptures and determine where our focus should ultimately be.
This World is Not My Home
We are constantly reminded in the New Testament to set ourselves apart from the unbelieving world. Those of the world set their mind on “earthly things” and serve only themselves, to their shame and destruction (Philippians 3:19), but we as Christians will have citizenship in heaven if we “stand fast in the Lord” (v. 20-21). Again in 1 John 2:15 we are instructed to not love the world or the things in it, and verse 16 describes those worldly things as the “lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.” The people of the world care about looking good. They care about external appearances and how others perceive them. They are driven by satisfying their own physical desires and are proud of themselves. We are further admonished by the apostle Paul in his letter to the Colossians to “set our minds on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2).
We know that the things of the world are temporary and will pass away, but “he who does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:17). As the hymn goes, “This World Is Not My Home.” My children are known to randomly start singing this song throughout the day, and for me it is a constant reminder that our citizenship is in heaven. After we “put to death” our former selves, we are instructed to “put on” tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering (Colossians 3:13). As citizens of heaven we shouldn’t care about the same things that the world cares about. Instead of serving only ourselves, we should be constantly looking for ways to serve others.
A Gentle and Quiet Spirit
If this world is not our home, then how can we as Christian women separate ourselves from it and conduct ourselves in a way that is pleasing to God?
In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)
The instruction here is to dress ourselves in “modest” clothing. Typically we think of modest clothing as dealing with the amount of skin covered, but one of the more appropriate definitions of the word modest actually is “placing a moderate estimate on one’s abilities or worth; neither bold nor self-assertive” (Merriam-Webster). Modest clothing is about more than just a hemline or a neckline. We can wear things that cover our bodies and still be immodest by taking too much pride in our appearance or by dressing simply to attract attention. Furthermore we are to dress with “moderation” and “propriety.” Both of these terms lend to the idea of dressing properly, but not excessively – i.e. fancy clothes or jewelry—so that we are noticed not for our outward appearance, but for our faith and good works.
Additionally, as instructed in 1 Peter 3:1-2 and again in Titus 2:5, we are to have “chaste” conduct. The word “chaste” is commonly limited to describing sexual purity (Merriam-Webster) but can also refer to a “simplicity, plainness, or moral purity.” Someone who is chaste does not try to draw extra attention or physical attraction by wearing provocative clothing, jewelry, makeup, or other superficial things but rather seeks to “adorn” their hearts:
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3:3-4)
Here we are instructed to not worry “merely” about our outward appearances, but to “adorn” our hearts by having a gentle and quiet demeanor, thus pleasing God. In the following verses an example is given of holy women from former times that trusted in God and adorned themselves with this “incorruptible beauty.” Sarah, in particular, is commended for obeying and honoring Abraham. We are told in Genesis 12:11 that Sarah was a woman of “beautiful countenance.” Her beauty was such that we are given two separate accounts in which Abraham worried that a foreign monarch would have him killed in order to take Sarah for himself (Genesis 12, 20). Sarah was so beautiful that she was coveted by kings, and yet in the New Testament she is mentioned not for her physical beauty, but for her submissive and obedient nature.
Putting it All Together: The Virtuous Wife
One of my favorite passages to go to when I feel like I need encouragement as a woman, as a wife, and as a mother, is Proverbs 31:10-31. It is one of the best examples we as women are given in scripture from which to pattern our own lives and become pleasing to God. And while it is noted that her clothing is “fine linen and purple” (Proverbs 31:22), the majority of the passage describes not her physical appearance but her diligent and tireless work in caring for her family:
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” (Proverbs 31:27-29)
The virtuous wife is resourceful, honorable, wise, strong, hard-working, hospitable, and kind. We are not specifically told how she dressed (other than verse 22), how she fixed her hair, or if she wore makeup. Considering all of the things she did with her hands throughout the day it doesn’t seem likely that she spent very much time worrying about superficial beauty. Instead of focusing on worldly standards of beauty and attraction, the virtuous wife focused on the needs of her family, honoring her husband, and being pleasing to God. These are the things that are ultimately important, for –
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:30-31)
Superficial beauty will tarnish and fade; signs of aging will ultimately come, no matter how much we might try to prevent them—we cannot stop time. We can, however, achieve an incorruptible inner beauty by cultivating our lives and our hearts in a way that is pleasing to God. Like the slogan goes, we are most definitely “worth it.” We deserve to have this incorruptible beauty that goes deep into our hearts and guides us towards the service of not ourselves, but of others.
